Friends Forever: Visiting Maria Gouveia's grave at Botany Bay Cemetery in Sydney in 2018

After being absent from Sydney for almost 20 years, I visited the city in which I lived in the 80s & 90s from 15 November 2017 to 4th April 2018.

By the 2nd of March 2018, I knew my time in that wonderful city was approaching its end and I had not yet visited the grave of my great friend Maria Gouveia who was so helpful to me when I first migrated into Australia in September 1981.

Maria died of cancer on 19 September 1998.

Rosita Gouveia & Maria Gouveia.

Hi Isabella, 2nd March 2018.

I could not visit Sydney without paying a little visit to your Mother's grave.

It took me a while to find it, as l only realized today every time l went to Botany Cemetery I was with Maria so l never bothered to know how to get there.

The last time l visited it was on 22nd September 1998, at Maria's burial. I don't recall whose car l went there. I only remember Gail gave us a lift on the way back from the service.

The reason why I took a photo of the grave opposite to your Mum's is that Maria had made a joke about the fellow buried being "good looking" and the chance of having some "hanky panky" when she "moved in"... and we both laughed...

But today l could not help but cry a little when I was leaving the grave...

Luiz.
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Hi Luiz,

My mum would have been SO happy to see you there.

I LOVE the selfie, lol. You look the same! It’s so nice you made the effort. Makes my heart warm. Thank you!!

That’s very funny the hanky panky joke. I never heard it before. I remember the tomb, he died young, his family visit the grave regularly, always flowers there.

I know only one other person who has been to see my mum (Eric, an ex boyfriend who she didn’t like very much, lol) unfortunately I don’t think she has many visitors.

I used to go once a month for 10 years to see her. Take some flowers and Charlie, we would have a picnic.

My mother’s friend Erê (you might remember her) told me I shouldn't take my baby to the cemetery, there’s too many spirits, not good for babies (I bet my mum was mad about Erê saying this to me lol).

When Charlie died I went to visit less and less. I haven’t been for 3 years, I live far away near Port Macquarie. It’s very beautiful here.

You have reminded me I have to make an extra effort to visit my mum. Seeing the tomb photos made me a bit sad but happy too. I know you made her happy!!

You knew her very well and spent a lot of time talking ..sooo much talking, lol I knew her as mum to child then teenager. It’s a bit different.

Can you believe my grandmother is still alive. She will turn 101 this year in June. My mother's side was not so lucky, they had a short life with the gene problem. I have been tested for the gene, I don’t have it, thank god!! My life might be as long as my grandmother, lol.

Where are you staying in Sydney? Have you seen Marissa?
How long are you staying for?

Thank you so much for sending email and photos.

I’ll call you in next couple of days. Can I speak English to you? I can understand Portuguese but speaking is hard. Speak soon

Love, Isabella xxxxx

I love Sweet William.

Rosita Gouveia * 31st December 1952 + 9 August 1996; Maria da Conceição Gouveia *22 April 1948 + 19 September 1998.

I thought this a quaint & poignant piece of thought.

Paul J. Agostinho, beloved husband of Armanda; * 4 February 1971 + 13 October 1995.

When I visited Maria's grave on 2nd March 1918, at Botany Bay Cemetery I found a birthday card dated 2nd February 1918 (exactly one month before) lying close to the next grave. I curiously looked at it and started reading it... It almost broke my heart. It's a grieving mother wishing her deceased son a 'happy birthday'. She writes as if he were alive... he's surely alive within herself. Here are the words:

Sunday, 4 February 2018.

dearest Paul

Another year, another birthday without you. My beautiful boy, may your day be as wonderful as you.

You had such values and sense of family, that it cannot be taught. It has to be felt. Paul, you lived for your family and friends and you'll never be forgotten.

I was and am, truly blessed to be your mom. Even from afar (physically) your spirit lingers and I am constantly aware of getting help from you. It's an everyday event. Even today, I thought it'd better to park at a certain spot. Paul, you thought otherwise. Amazingly right in front of our old home. It worked out much better than where I wanted to go.

Beloved Paul, have a happy birthday, a big hug to you from your mom and dad and all our family and friends there with you. Miss you... so much... Love, Mom, Richard, Liz, Jacob, Lukas & Sebastian... xxxxx

P.S.: Paul a back to front N!